I don't even know how to explain today. Now that Lauren is 18, she is considered an adult. That means she signs all the paperwork - consent for blood, consent for treatment, permission to operate, etc. The oncologist told her of the probable PTLD findings Friday night. We explained what happened with the surgery on Saturday. Today Blair, Lauren and I tried to talk about the future a bit. They need to do a bone marrow biopsy to see if the PTLD is in her marrow and want to do it tomorrow. That result determines what options or treatment plans lie ahead. Not a horrible procedure, but it is done under general anesthesia plus she isn't moving real well yet, which is upsetting. Consenting to that in a way means you deal with the fact that you probably have cancer. So, she needed to decide what to do. It is so tough to watch your kids suffer and ask hard questions and not be able to do much to help take away the pain.
She had the drainage tube removed from her nose this morning and walked to the bathroom. They like you to get up and moving quickly after surgery, so we walked her around a bit this afternoon and she had some ice chips. They started some steroids to help the inflammation and hopefully the pain. That seems to be making her more comfortable.
I was home late last night and this morning. I feel so full of faith and hope and confidence after listening to the past 2 days of conference. There is a lot of raw emotion in this hospital room, though. I enjoyed my walk outside, I played the piano for awhile and made some homemade rolls. It is therapeutic to cook when you haven't lately.
The house is so quiet without the kids home. I really miss them and can't wait to see them! Blair is excited to pick them up Tues night, then bring them here so they can see lauren, then I will take them home while he stays here. He is taking the day off on Wed so I can do my normal mom stuff and help them with some projects, etc. We will switch again so he can have fun with them Thurs after work.
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